I am a pessimist, with an optimist outlook.

Indeed, I am.

One might ask, "how is this possible". Honestly, I couldn't tell ya. I just know, that is who I am. Maybe not who I've always been, but who I am now.

For the longest time I have sat back and tried to figure myself out. Which, really, maybe it's just me, but it's been far too complicated. Obviously I know who I am, but trying to reason with the decisions I make is pretty impossible. Not saying all of them have been bad decisions, some have been the best I have ever made. The question is, why did I make them? Who the heck knows.

Then, I started to paint a picture of my everyday attitude. I am at times over bearing and I worry just a little too much. No matter what though, I am always positive of the outcome, or the things I will face in the future. Given I have been through so much, in such little time, I can be nothing but positive. Even if the situation in itself, isn't always a positive one. That is really the only way a person can truly function, without hitting the bottom. If you keep a level head, things will always turn out the way they are supposed to.

Once I changed from being a total pessimist, things started to go uphill, slightly. My entire life did a 180 and I saw the better of what I had been up against. Maybe it is my age that has me looking at things through a different prospective. Maybe it's because I have a little person who looks up to me everyday, that I want to see succeed when she grows up. I'm not sure. All I know is that I am starting to enjoy this ride, instead of just holding on for the ride.