We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.

I've found that life is one big trial, at leas it appears that way to me. We are constantly confronted with temporary road blocks. We take the detours and follow the road that suites us best. Or, if you're like me, you take the bumpy road. It's always the road you're never familiar with and you're usually unsure of where it might lead you. We are tested on our abilities to handle hard situations, how to remove negativity from our lifes and do what it takes to succeed.

So many people have different definitions for succeeding. There are several ways to succeed too, depending on who you're talking to, I suppose. Succeeding to me is being 100%, for me, for my daughter and those who mean the most to me. I want to die knowing I was the best mother Anna could ever ask for. I want to know I made people smile. That I was special to one person, so special it made their heart ache.

The low's in my life are slowly fading away. I've grown up and I know the steps to take, to move on. I look back on my life and the poor decisions I've made, it's such a blur now. I might never know why I made some of the decisions I did, but I know that isn't me anymore. With everyday that goes by, I feel like a better person.

It's hard to ask for closure, when you're not totally sure what went wrong in that certain situation. I always ask myself if closure would even help, or make it worse. I think I'm finally to the point where I don't need closure. I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions, for some time now and it's not worth it to keep trying. So, closure almost seems silly, it would only leave more emotions and broken hearts.

I woke up this morning and felt different. Different about almost everything I've associated with for the last year. Some good, some bad. I just know that the way I feel, is the way I should feel. Letting go is the hardest part, but it will make the rest of my life easier.

Grass between my toes.

Wow. It's been a while since I last updated. I guess, like so many of us claim, I've had a lot going on. What's odd is, during this time I haven't updated, I've thought of updating.

So much has changed, for the good and for the not so good. Such is life, with the good comes the bad. I would say that the majority of changes that have taken place, have been for the better. I've taken what has been laid in front of me, with stride.

I find myself going to Church more and drinking a lot less. Making more friends and less enemies. Being responsible and carrying myself. I feel great and I think I look great. I haven't been this happy in a long time and it has helped so many aspects of my life. Being a mother has become something truly meaningful to me. Not that it wasn't before, but as Anna grows, I see her in this new light. She is such a lady, she is smart and beautiful. She also adores me and looks up to me in everyway.

I finally found the job I've waiting a year to find. I love it and it feels so good to get up every morning and go to work. Although, I am blogging while I should be working. Nobody's perfect right?

So, I do need to get back to work. I tell myself everyday, that I plan on blogging that day. Maybe now I will actually start doing it.