Nothing can be created out of nothing.

I'm up too late again.

I should be sleeping, but I'm not.

All my thoughts stir when I lack sleep. This is a win/lose situation. That's just my opinion though. I have great thoughts, while not getting sleep. Joy.

My mind has recently gone into over drive again. Seems when some things fall into place, others just fall. Music is my escape lately.

I have a few great things and a few great things I am missing at this particular time.

I feel happy. I feel sad. It's never a balanced mood with me. It's all over the place and never the same.

I feel I do need to seek change in a few of my awful habits that still lurk from my ugly past. Yet, I think I deserve to be treated a little better by a certain person. Will that ever happen? Well, I will succeed and be the person I want to be...but will the other person be who I want them to be. I don't know. Do I wait around and see? Or, do I move forward and see where I end up. They both have their ups and downs. I am just stuck, as always.

Whatever. I'm done fucking thinking. Sleep. Need sleep.

...

I cannot explain the sudden rush of emotions. Why does it even bother me. Why was I expecting a different outcome. Why in my heart have I always been waiting...for something that will never come.


I am tired of being something I am not and running from the things that once meant so much.